Chaos Series | Worthiness
You are worth it, if you're reading this -- you, yes you, are worth it. Societal norms and marketing push an agenda that subliminally (and in your face) states you are either worth the dollar store shampoo or the top-shelf cleanser and what we can, or will, purchase equates to our value. I am here to call the advertisement and media bluff; women's values lie not on what can be grabbed from a literal or figurative shelf and slap/cake/layer/shove on their person. The truth is - somewhere amongst all the stuff and things is another option - a value which lies within thoughts, actions, abilities, creativity, and the list goes on.
I am not suggesting women can't want or enjoy candy bars, designer jeans, or liquid foundation - I am suggesting we all take a deeper look at who we are, deep down in that place so aptly named personal space. Take time to identify what has accumulated to fill the personal void which screams sentiments of less than, unworthy, undervalued, not good enough. This dark place of unworthiness often looks different and seems to be a comfort to us in our time of need. It sounds like: I deserve this, I need this, or perhaps I can do without so that others may have, my family always comes first, or, my personal favorite, no one really needs me. I find it interesting both spectrums of thought undermine our (women's) value. We don't always deserve it and sometimes we do (only we know when each should be applied), and sometimes we are not missed at an event and other times our absence is dearly noted.
Humans are really good at finding a way to take a good thing and twisting it until it no longer serves the intended purpose. Coffee to drink for a quick pick-me-up becomes an overindulgence with a huge price tag at whatever coffee shop frequented. You get the drift. So, how do complete our own value assessment? We live in a society that monitors our every day movements and actions - that is undeniable - and our mind tracks the other moments, the things that make us - us. What we say to ourselves matters and it matters a lot. I believe that's the starting point for most of us to understand our worth, our value, our contribution to the world if you will.
Mean what you say and say what you mean. Simple enough, right? How about this change of mental rhetoric, say things that are positive to yourself and mean it. That awesome stick drawing figure you made the other day to teach the kids a lesson, it was amazing. Maybe the art will not be on someone's wall, but you did it and the lesson proved to be helpful in guiding small humans in learning. Accept that truth and believe yourself. Stop berating yourself for a perceived error and find the positive in the things that you do, the things that comprise your day matter and the matter absolutely.
Forgive yourself. Forgive missed meetings, subpar interactions, lack luster days, and forgotten cards. Surprise!! You are not perfect and that old phrase practice makes perfect is crap too, practice makes permanent is a much kinder way to treat yourself AND a good way to practice forgiveness. Goes back to the stop berating yourself part for a minute and allow mistakes. Each mistake is an opportunity to experience various challenges and grow as a human being. Forgiveness allows imperfection and happiness within the messiness of life. Holding out for perfect creates this world that doesn't move forward as some of the best things happen within mistakes (silly putty is one).
Acceptance. Accept perfection is a lie. Let's start with a thought - perfecting everything takes time and can stall a task to the point of zero movement. The inability to continue also creates an opening in your mind for you start talking poorly to yourself. This vicious cycle of self-harm rather than self-care keeps going around and around until you are exhausted with unworthiness thoughts. Accepting imperfection makes room for lighter thoughts and experiences.
One key thing to point out - through life, continual growth occurs for each and every one of us be it through experience or education, by accident or intentional and each piece of time is what makes a life. Oftentimes, a list of things you wish you hadn't done shows up late in the night when thoughts get loud. Take care and comfort in the realization that list grew you into the today's you, and will continue to mold you into your tomorrow self. Embrace it for all the icky, gooey, and savory parts, because within it also lies the sweetness, the joy, the first snowflake fall of the season a life lived affords. Let the illusion of perfection go the way of aspics (meat gelatin) - out of fashion.
You are worth all the treasures of the earth and your value stems from the acceptance of imperfection in a chaotic world.
peace